Inner Independence and Individuation
I describe my visit with Swami P in Incendiary Person in the High Desert Carnival. Here's an excerpt:
Imagine a Yoda who wore only orange, but with no Jedi powers (at least that I was shown), and instead of growing up on Dagobah, he grew up as Jew in the Bronx and went to my alma mater, the Bronx High School of Science, followed by Harvard. If you substitute "yogi" for "Yoda" in the previous sentence, then the description becomes completely literal.

Never one to infringe on Lucas Film copyrighted material, this sixty-six year old Yoda-like mystic calls himself, "Swami P" Swami P speaks not of "radical self-reliance" or other grandiose phrases as he mixes homegrown vegetables into Yoda-like stews. His cabin is at 10,300 feet, he grows and forages a lot of his food, procures his own fire wood, and when he's snowed in for several months he has no ability to communicate with the outside world, can't even plant a holographic distress message into a smuggled droid. The first several years of his quarter century of being a winter hermit was spent with no cabin, he lived in a cave at 12,000 feet.
Card URL:
According to the I Ching, you have only one obligation in life — to get your relationship to yourself right. Do that and your relations to sex, time, money, power, food, body, career, society, the cosmos, etc. will all be as good as outer conditions allow. Omit, distort or neglect any part of your relationship to yourself and all those other relationships are accordingly skewed, diminished or lost. Working toward the empowered stance of inner independence and androgynous inner wholeness makes you as effective as possible in the outer world. For example, if you are a martial artist trying to survive an attack by multiple assailants, your primary responsibility is managing your relationship to your own body and its movement through space and time. Mastering your relationship to your own body gives you the maximum chance of defending yourself from the bodies of the attackers. Any flaws in your relationship to your own body diminish your chances of surviving the attack.

Yes, we are all interdependent in many ways, and it can be fascinating and fulfilling to be with others, but we must also be inwardly independent and disentangle our emotional/psychological/spiritual equilibrium from the instabilities of the outer world.

Find the peace and power of staying inside your circle of influence. The center of your circle of influence is you, especially your psyche, the one sovereign domain where you can be sure of having influence. Unless you are paralyzed, the movements of your body are also within your circle of influence. But even if you are a gifted athlete, the movements of your body must operate within relatively narrow parameters of biomechanical possibility. For example, no matter how much you focus your will, you are not able to run a two minute mile. Your mind, however, has far, far wider parameters of possibility, and is an incredibly powerful force inside your circle of influence.

Outside of your circle of influence, according to Steven Covey, is your circle of concern. The circle of concern is everything you worry about, but many of those things are outside of your ability to take direct action. The circle of influence is what you can take direct action on or affect right now. The most effective people are putting their energy into the circle of influence and not so much into the circle of concern where direct action cannot be taken.

The empowered stance of inner independence means that you recognize your inner wholeness and focus on life-affirming engagement with your circle of influence.
For more on the centrality of your relationship to yourself:
Casting Precious into the Cracks of Doom — Androgyny, Alchemy, Evolution and the One Ring

If romantic desires are compromising your inner independence read:

Lessons for an Entity Incarnating as a Mammal

See: Stop the Hottie!

Confessions of a Self Aware Starship